Look around you at the people you hang out with. How many of them seek to be with you, compared to how many you seek to be with? If you didn’t keep in touch with them, would they try to keep in touch with you? Would they want to catch up? Would they care?
How many people in your life never call you? Never get in touch with you? Never hang out with you the way they used to?
I can imagine that there’s a few people who come to your mind straight away.
Here’s the thing – if people value you in their lives, they’ll want to be around you. If they don’t value you, then they won’t want to be around you.
Think about that when you think about your ‘close’ friends that never call or contact you in any way.
When you’re chasing someone who isn’t chasing you, you’re trying to convince them that you’re worth being with. But the truth is, you don’t believe that yourself, because if you did, you would sit back and let people come to you while you’re enjoying your life.
If you were someone that people wanted to be with, to share their lives with, then the truth is that they would be trying to spend more time with you.
If they’re not doing that, then you’re not worth it to them.
But they’re not worth it to you either.
Why are you chasing them? What are you getting from them that makes you want to continue having them in your life?
In this kind of situation, you’re seeking validation; these people will tolerate you, and that makes you feel better about yourself and your life.
A long time ago I used to chase my friends. I used to think I had friendssimply because they tolerated my presence when I turned up to spend time with them.
But then I started experimenting in my life. I started wondering who my real friends were, which of them would get in touch with me if they didn’t hear from me for a while.
I quickly broke the habit of chasing people, and ended up being very surprised about which of them would end up contacting me and finding out how I was, because they were concerned they hadn’t heard from me.
But the rest of them, I just let them drift on in the wake of my life’s journey.
If I wasn’t someone that they wanted to be with, why should I push that upon them? Why should I try and force them to be with someone they cared so little about?
I know that life’s experiences and the passing of time can make us lose touch with people that we once did care about, but if we still care about them, then we’ll make the effort to keep in touch with them.
The best you can do is get on with your life, learn how to enjoy yourself and your life without needing other people to validate it for you.
If a person doesn’t appreciate you for who you are, they don’t deserve you. Respect yourself and be with people in your life who truly value who you are.
Thanks for reading! Please add your own thoughts below.
Don't forget to subscribe for new posts sent to you by email!