Apparently if you silently mouth the word 'colourful' it can look like you're saying 'I love you'…
Deidre has been afraid of falling in love for fear of getting hurt if it goes bad. So it's been 'I like you', to "I more than like you', to telling me about 'colourful'. She told me about it last week, and I thought it was funny at the time. She texted me this morning and said 'Colourful 2day, don't you think?' I looked out the window and texted back, 'The clouds are making it grey up here, but I'm happy the sun is shining where you are'. She texted back saying, 'that's not what I mean'. I didn't understand, thinking maybe she was talking about clothing or something. She reminded me about 'colourful' at lunch time. I laughed. Baby steps.
I'm becoming increasingly happy as time goes by. The more I'm with her, the more I'm feeling like I've felt only once before: http://www.thespirit-online.com/journal/archive/1999/jul99/26799.htm
So what does this wonderful woman do to make me feel so strongly for her? Good question. I'm glad you asked. I think the most important thing is that she accepts me and she loves me. To have a person's love and acceptance is one of the greatest gifts in the world. She understands me. She is on the same level intellectually and emotionally as I am. She laughs at my jokes, and she makes me laugh at hers. She is a 'seeker of knowledge' as I am, interested in spirituality and wanting to delve into it herself. She has eyes that make me want to lose myself in them, and her smile is like the rising of the sun on a cold, dark morning.
Yes, that was almost 6 years ago, but it seems to be apparent again today. I've been in love since then, but it's never been the same. The desire to spend the rest of my life with someone who made me feel good is a big sign for me in believing I love them, but now I think I really do know what true love is. It's more powerful, deeper and stronger than just feeling good with them.
Love is accepting a person for who they are, and it's enhanced amazingly when you are truly accepted in return. Deidre accepts who I am. There's nothing about me that she wants to change. In many respects our attitudes and our individual pasts are very similar, and it's helped us get closer to each other because we understand each other more. She inspires me to change, without her even suggesting it or asking it. I just want to change aspects of myself and my life because I feel like it, not because it's asked of me. Life has become brighter, more beautiful, more exciting. It's just… colourful.
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