- 486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
- State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.
- Obsolete: Any computer you own.
- Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
- G3: Apple's new Macs that make you say 'Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago.'
- Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
- Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
- GUI: What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced 'gooey')
- Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.
- Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
- Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
- Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
- Disk: What goes out of your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seven hours at a clip.
- Cursor: What you turn into when you can't get your computer to perform, as in "You %@& computer!"
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