One of my new ‘fans’ was talking on his blog about how much time and effort he went to, to get a credit back on his account. After a little bit of a debate within the comments of his post, I was going to reply with the following, but decided to turn it into a post of my own instead. I’ll go into more detail within it, to flesh it out as a post in here, but the essence of it was how I was planning on responding to him.
Imagine you have just spent 6 hours of debating and arguing with a service provider of some kind in order to get a $60 credit applied to your account. How satisfied would you feel? Probably reasonably satisfied, as most would. You’ve just got $60 back to compensate for bad service.
But think of this. How much do you earn at work? Imagine it might be $20 an hour. Six hours of your time would be worth $120. However, you have just spent 6 hours of your time gaining you only $60. You’ve worked 3 hours for free, which is time that’s been wasted for no reward, according to your usual income. Imagine if you earn $60 an hour. You’ve just wasted 5 hours of your time.
And then you have to look at the energy of it all. Energy is exchanged between you and those you interact with. If you expend the energy to help someone get something that they want, they will often reward you in some way. You get back what you give out, and if you give out helpful energy, then you are likely to get back helpful energy.
When you interact with a company that provides you with a service, there’s not only a money and service exchange, there’s also an energy exchange. They are giving you what you want, and you are giving them what they want in return. Everyone’s happy.
If you interact with any person or company in order to take from them what they think is rightfully theirs, all you’re succeeding at doing is taking something from them. There are a few things you should think about.
Do I want them to lose money by taking it back for myself? Do I want them to suffer a loss of face by making it public, and causing them to potentially lose even more money? Is the vengeance I want equivalent to the loss of service I’ve received? Do I want to gain something for myself? How much do I want? WHAT do I want? Do I want money? Acknowledgement? Respect? Understanding? How much of my time and effort is worth the reward that I’m looking for?
What, really, is the point?
The desire to cause ‘harm’ to someone or something else is really not worth your time and energy, as working to take something from someone else only takes it from you. You don’t get cosmic brownie points for it. You might get some kind of satisfaction from your efforts, but what do you get really? Is the satisfaction worth it?
The result of your efforts earns you a bad relationship with your service provider who doesn’t really care about you, ’cause they can get their money from other people. But what you’ve done is brought yourself to their attention, and made them care even less about you. The only difference now is that they know you.
Ultimately, enjoying a rewarding life is about finding benefit for yourself, AND for others. If there’s nothing that can be benefited from an action, then it’s not a positive action and therefore should be reconsidered. If your actions don’t bring about a win-win situation, where both people are gaining from the action, then there is an imbalance in the energy exchange. You are trying to take from them what they don’t want to give.
You might think you deserve it, that they owe it to you. But do they? If you aren’t getting what you want, why create a situation that just enforces more negative feelings? Why not simply take your business elsewhere?
Spending 6 hours getting a credit might be satisfying, but is it worth it? What if you could spend half an hour obtaining better service from another provider, at a cheaper cost? You’ve used your time wisely, bringing more money to yourself through the savings, and more happiness. You’ve created a new business relationship with someone else, who are happy you’ve joined them. And those that you’ve walked away from don’t feel bad either. They still don’t know you, and the loss of your business means very little to them. It’s all just part of the ebb and flow of the business world.
Not only do you economise on your time, which gives you more time to follow happier pursuits, but you’ve also increased your cosmic brownie points by not getting involved in any negative actions. You’re not taking any energy from someone else, and thus saves them grief. You’re looking after your own energy, which always has to be of maximum priority, and you’re increasing the positive energy around those you interact with.
A simple rule of thumb: will my intended action be of benefit to both myself AND who I’m interacting with?
If not, don’t do it.
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