I'm in bed at the moment, feeling like crap. I feel nauseous, achey and tired. But not too tired to sit up in bed and write this! I've got the quilt up around me and a shirt on, and a thick towel draped around my shoulders. I'm feeling cold, and yet the room is warm from the heater. The funny thing is, when I got home from work I was feeling hot, even though the windows were open, and it was after 5pm. I should have been cold, but I wasn't. So I guess I had hot and cold flushes or something.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm ill! Yeh, I know, you were sitting there saying, "Geez Alan, get to the point already!"
When Deidre came home from work I was just climbing into bed, after having done the dishes and set up file synchronisation on the two laptops. After all that, I was stuffed!
Deidre has been just incredible. I was laying in bed and feeling like crap, and she changed clothes and made herself comfortable before joining me, sitting on the bed next to me. She caressed my hair while I was laying there, and my cheek. She was doing the 'classic' thing of the loving woman looking after the sick man, the one that she loves.
The only reason I'm talking about it in here is because – I've never had that before. I've never had that kind of love where my partner actually cares about me when I'm sick and wants to look after me and make me feel better.
Or at least I've never had it this way before. I'm sure I've been sick in the past, with other girlfriends, and they've looked after me. But somehow, it's never been the same as how Deidre does it. She's touchy-feely, just like me, and just the way I love it. We both use touch to help express to each other how much we love each other.
We were laying together last night, in each other's arms, talking about how amazing it is that after almost 8 months now, we're still like this with each other. We still, every single day, wrap each other in our arms, carress each other, kiss each other, and use that wonderful power of touch to show how important the other is, and how much we still love each other. Neither of us have ever had this before, with this much love, for 'so long', and that just gets stronger as more time goes by.
"Why do you love me so much?" I asked her.
"Because you let me be me. You don't ask for anything else, and you love me for who I am."
I thought about that. It's who she is that I really love. There's nothing that I hope she might be. I love her for who she is, and not for who she might become. She's already everything that I want.
I'm sick, and she loves me enough to look after me, and make me chicken soup and give me 1/4 of the pizza she bought herself. She's the most awesome, incredible woman I've ever loved.
In sickness and in health… I think we'll be there for each other, together, forever.
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