As part of the 'about me' series of posts, I thought I would go into a bit more detail about the aspects of my personality, to explore who I am a bit more.
strong value systems
I have very strong values about what is right and wrong. I try to uphold those values in myself, as best I can, and I find that I want others to have the same values. Of course, this doesn't work, as most people have different values. It's what makes the world go round.
However, when I see people violating my values, I get incredibly frustrated. I feel things could be so much better around the world if only more people had similar values to me. Again, it doesn't work that way, but when I see my values being violated in some way, it really pushes my buttons. American foreign policy – and their domestic policy, actually – is a good example of my values being violated by what they feel is best…
very interested in people
People are incredibly fascinating to me. I spend a great deal of my time reading about them, watching them, and learning about them. I can't get enough knowledge of what makes people tick…
I do this because I want to help them in some way, and I feel that the more I can understand why people do the things that they do, the better I can help them overcome whatever challenges they have…
loyal and devoted to people and causes
When I get close to people, I'm very loyal and devoted to them. It's very important to me. I'm the same for causes, whatever they might be.
A favourite cause I have is to try and open people's eyes to a greater reality, whether that's spiritually or politically, and help them understand that they have more choices in life than what they might think. It's why I write the things that I write about…
future oriented
Yes, I'm always thinking about the future. Either with the creativity of writing fiction, or with how the world could be a better place, or with how our lives can be improved by making better choices.
Making better choices in the future can only come about by understanding more about how the choices we've made in the past have helped or hampered us…
growth oriented, always wanting to grow positively
Even when thinking or talking about the future, I'm doing it in such a way that I'm exploring personal growth. To me, 'always wanting to grow positively' means just that. Almost everything I do, think about or feel, is all considered against the background of 'how can this help me grow?'
creative and inspirational
I explore these traits in my writing, my web designing, and the method I try to use to help people, eg. inspirational articles…
flexible and laid back, unless a ruling value is violated
I'm very easygoing and relaxed, but when my values are violated, I find myself being outraged. There's often something happening somewhere in the political or global scene which is violating such values, and I'm often expressing my outrage to those around me who are within earshot. I call those occasions my 'daily outrages'. I often find myself feeling extremely frustrated by the actions of others that violate my values.
In my personal relationships, I'm very much the same. Easygoing, relaxed, until a value is somehow violated, and then I get very angry. I'm working to change that in some way, by becoming more understanding about other people's personal values and attitudes… But still, if someone violates my values to an 'extreme level, I can find furious anger… My old friend Scot was such a recipient of my feelings last year. You can read about it here, but the gist of it was that he "stated his belief that [killing innocent people] was a good thing, and that the world would be a much safer place if terrorists know that they could be executed outright, before being able to fulfill their mission. It was his opinion that a few innocent lives lost was worth it, to save others. It was also his opinion that the Brazilian in London deserved to be executed because he ran from the police."
That was probably the first time I've ever decided someone wasn't worth being a friend, and is a perfect example of how I can react when my values are violated.
sensitive and complex
Because of my introspective nature, and the constant desire to analyse what's going on with myself and those around me, I'm quite sensitive to the emotions in others and in myself. My complexity is in the range of analysis that I undertake about people, events and emotions.
dislike dealing with details and routine work
If something isn't getting me to think about possibilities and improvements, I can get bored incredibly easy. If something is routine, providing no great mental challenge, I find it extremely boring and tedious. It's why, at the time of this writing, I'm excited about being a Business Analyst, working exactly on possibilities and improvements. That kind of stuff excites me, and challenges me.
original and individualistic
I try to break away from conformity, from doing the same things that others do. As a result, when I have a chance to do something original, I've been recognised for my 'out of the box' thinking. I used to wear a leather jacket to work, even with a shirt and tie… I remember one of my workmates looking at me and saying, "You're never going to get far up the corporate ladder dressed like that…" I didn't want to, and didn't care about conforming. Wearing a tie was, at the time, a requirement of the workplace. My thinking was that if I must wear a tie, I'll wear a leather jacket as well.
When people in social situations tell me that I 'have to' do something because everyone else is doing it, I balk at the very idea. I decide to do something different, just because no one else is doing it. Even if that means just sitting there and watching people… I find that far more interesting than being part of what everyone else is part of. Sheep, I call them. And I reject being a sheep.
Actually, that reminds me of what I wrote about it some years ago. And after searching for it for the past TWO HOURS I finally found it. I wrote it in 1998, and it's still very relevant today:
I try not to let fear stop me doing what I want to do
otherwise I'd never do anything
nor would I ever be happy
"life is an adventure, or nothing at all"
I live an adventure where every day is something new
something relaxing
I live to enjoy myself
I live for a future
I don't live for slavery
to work for someone else
I live for my freedom
and that's all that's important
I'm not the conventional sheep
who thinks that I must live my life according to what others think it should be
I reject normality
I reject normality.
excellent written communication skills
I think this blog makes that obvious.
prefer working alone
I find that I can get things done when I have no one else to answer to. When I don't have 'dumbarses' intervening in my work, wanting me to do things 'their way', then I find great satisfaction in achieving results and getting things done. I appreciate results-oriented work instead of task-oriented, where getting results is more important than how you do it.
value deep and authentic relationships
I'm not interested in the shallow by-products of a society that's afraid to explore the deeper issues in life. I have a lot of resistance to 'small talk', because I feel it's designed to help people feel comfortable about avoiding things that are important to them, including the negative. I value relationships with people who are happy to explore the deeper aspects of themselves and their reality.
With what I've learnt about introverts and extroverts, I find that I'm more at home with people who prefer to think about things. Anyone who is willing to explore themselves with me is someone who can very quickly become my friend. Anyone who can share themselves with me is someone worth me sharing myself with them…
want to be appreciated for who I am
It's important for me to be appreciated and accepted for who I am. Many people, particularly judgemental extroverts, prefer people around them to fit into preconceived expectations. I really don't like people wanting me to be something I'm not, and it's been a 'bone of contention' between me and others who have been significant to me in the past. I just want to be accepted for who I am, rather than for what they would like me to be.
I've often reacted with some form of passive aggression to those situations in my past where people have wanted me to be something I wasn't, but in order to try and find a middle ground, I've tried to become something of what they wanted. It never worked. So now my mantra is, "Just accept me for who I am!"
I'm finding that if people can learn to accept me for who I am, then things are just so much easier. I think it's those who have the 'J for Judgemental' in their personality types who are the greatest culprits (but not the only ones, of course)…
So there you have it. A bit more about me. 🙂
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