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19 May 2003

Last night I had an awesome chat on the phone with Mel, my friend back in Canberra. We spoke about Matrix: Reloaded (more on that soon) and also my 'love life'. I discussed events concerning Wakana and her boyfriend, and how they've moved to Christchurch now, and how I've felt about her and the situation.

I realised that I'm still very much in love with her (which is probably obvious), but I also realised that I haven't been doing much to move beyond my feelings for her. I've been feeling sorry for myself, and missing her, and keeping myself in that state where I'm in still hanging on. I'm in limbo, and I realised it last night.

I realised that I have to do what it takes to move on.

The last time I 'moved on' and resolved my issues was in 2001, when I spent 8 months just keeping to myself and having no desire to get involved with anyone. It worked out well, being a great period of growth for me. So now I need to do that again, and just keep to myself for a while, sorting through my feelings about the past and who I am now.

And so it began today, with me making that decision to do what it takes to move on. I'm going to remain single for a while now.

I'll still meet people, but I just won't get involved with them. I met Wakana that same way, and the friendship I developed with her worked its way into becoming a relationship. I was almost ready for it, and it just happened without my conscious knowledge. I know I wasn't completely ready back then though, 'cause I ended up leaving her after only a few months.

I'll take more time in the future instead of letting things move quicker than they should.

Matrix: Reloaded.

Oh my God. What an awesome ride! I'm not going to give any spoilers, in consideration of those of you who haven't seen it yet.

I spent the first 20 minutes of the movie feeling like my mouth was hanging open in amazement. It felt like the popcorn I was putting into it was just falling back out again because of my slackjawed condition. There were some incredible fight scenes (as you're probably expecting, so that's not a spoiler), and the ending really made you pissed off that you have to wait so long for the next one!!! I know, 6 months isn't a long time, but it is in relation to that ending!


There's some amazing head trips involved in the story, and you really have to think about what's going on. I'm also convinced that you have to see it more than once to get a decent understanding of it, and I intend seeing it at least twice more over the next week.

I've got some awesome theories from it, and I'm looking forward to seeing the third movie in November, just to see if my theories turn out to be right.


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