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Inappropriate assumptions

I 'met' someone recently on Facebook that turned out tonight to have a few issues with me. Apparently I was playing 'games' with them because I'm engaged and yet chatting with them (they're female), and I changed the picture in my profile. This apparently made them believe that I was trying to pretend to be someone else. Oh, and that I had three different message conversations with her over the past week.

1) They're not even a 'friend' of mine in Facebook, and instead they're just an 'application buddy'. Eg. we use the same application, therefore share a common interest, and started talking to each other. We hadn't gotten to the point where I might want to add them as a friend.

2) I thought anyone could change pictures in profiles? I didn't realise before that it meant you were playing games.

3) She had previously expressed concern that I would be talking to another woman while engaged. I mean, what?! Gimme a break. I know that a lot of people seem to think that once you have a partner, you should never talk to anyone of the opposite sex again. So tonight she accused me of playing games, 'cause I was talking to her (another woman) while engaged, and that I'd changed my profile picture. She felt I was trying to be a sleaze bag.

I ended up telling her that she obviously has issues of paranoia, and that it was a real shame we can't be friends. I suspect she's had issues in the past with guys cheating on her, or guys trying to come onto her, and she flipped out in a huge way.

It's a shame that some people can spoil a good thing before it even has the chance of becoming a good thing. They let past experience influence their current perception, and end up reacting completely inappropriately. It's usually a good idea to treat people as they are treating you, and to accept things for what they are. THINKING that they're doing something that they're actually not, is not a good idea.

If you have concerns, how about asking them about those concerns? Ask them what their intentions are, where they'd like to take things? Actually getting all the information can often be so much better than just acting on assumptions, and believing that those assumptions are facts.

How about you? Have you ever had anyone 'flip out' over something you said or did, but which was completely misunderstood or misinterpreted by them?

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