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It’s all over

Well, I'm single again. After a week or so of beginning to understand that Nic was growing further and further away from me, and then having horrible dreams Thursday night and last night, I was finally forced by my own feelings to bring things to a head this morning.

My dream on Thursday night woke me up about 4am, and I couldn't get back to sleep properly after that, as it left me with horrible feelings. I dreamt that I was talking to a friend of Nic's and she told me that the reason Nic was distancing herself was because she's seeing another man, an ex. It was at that point that I woke up. Last night's dream had me wake up around the same time. It was about another ex from my recent past, and in the dream the relationship had pretty much soured, but we were still in it unhappily. She was hanging on because she didn't know how to say no, she didn't know how to get out of it. I was hanging on because I was hoping things would change.

My subconscious was telling me to wake up and smell the roses, which is what I did this morning.

Because she's in Auckland, and because it had been planned that I was going up there this coming weekend, I felt that I had to confront the issue right now, and avoid any unpleasantness later in the week or when I got up there. So I phoned her this morning and had one of those deep and meaningful conversations that resulted in me bringing about the parting of our ways.

She's been shutting herself down in a number of different ways, not just with me. To continue being in her life in this way was only making things worse for both of us. So I didn't say goodbye, I just ended what we've got/had. After some time has passed, I expect we'll still be friends. And you never know, maybe we'll get back together again.

But life still goes on, and I intend moving with it rather than staying stagnant.

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