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Relationships gone bad…

I met a friend of mine (name removed at her request) on 3rd January, for the first time in 5 and a half years. She doesn’t seem to have changed much, but unfortunately we didn’t get the opportunity to spend a great deal of time with each other. I did get to learn from her that her partner had left her the day before… She was extremely sad about it, and understandably so. (I told her that we’ll talk about it once I was back in NZ, but now she doesn’t seem to want to talk about it, preferring to instead pretend it hasn’t happened.)

I told Deidre about it and she was in agreement with what I had already told my friend – that she was welcome to stay with us if she needed somewhere to stay. It turned out that she had also offered my friend a room if she came over to stay. Great minds think alike…

I think it’s a very sad thing that people get together with someone on the hope that things will turn out better than what they are. The relationship is based not on what it is, but on what they hope it becomes. And invariably they are disappointed, shattered even, that their dreams have been destroyed. Reality hits home, intruding on their dreams.

While I empathise with her about her experience, I also hope she learns an invaluable lesson from it.

When she told me he had left her, she asked me what I thought. I told her, “I think exactly the same as 5 years ago, when you first told me about him and your hopes. Nothing’s changed. You’ve created a relationship on a hope, and you’ve been hoping for 5 years now. It doesn’t work.”

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