As part of my growth and healing, I’ve found this guide to help me avoid passive aggression. From looking at it and understanding what I need to work on, you can probably understand where my ‘flaws’ are.
To avoid being passive aggressive with others I can:
- try to be assertive, open, and honest with my negative feelings or anger.
- warn people to “read” my behavior rather than my words if they want to know my feelings.
- confront myself with my inconsistent behavior and challenge myself to explain it.
- take the risk to confront my anger assertively and “on the spot” so that I can bring my behavior in line with my feelings.
- work at making my behavior consistent with my feelings.
- change the way I interact with people and make my relationships more honest.
- admit that I have been a liar.
- work at being more honest with people even if it results in a conflict.
- identify the irrational thinking that prevents me from confronting people when I am angry.
- learn how to become assertive with my negative feelings.
- accept that it is OK to have conflict and disagreement.
- learn to compromise and come to a “win-win” solution.
Probably the biggest shock to my system has been acknowledging how much I’ve been lying to myself and to others throughout my life. That’s been the hardest to deal with, and come to terms with.
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