Welcome to 2005. I hope you all have a great New Year, and an even better 2005.
Let me be the first to tell you that 2005 feels…. just like 2004! Wow. Surprising, hey? Well, I'm sure the changes will soon start becoming apparent. Like when we have to get used to writing 2005 as the date instead of 2004, etc etc. I did an experiment this xmas and new year. In years past, I have always made it a habit to send an email card or make a phone call to all those I considered my friends, to wish them well, let them know I was thinking of them, and so on. This year, I didn't. I contacted only those who were dearest to me, and made sure they knew it. Including my family, and I spoke to my brothers for the first time in 8+ years. Anyway, the experiment was interesting, because….
Out of all of those that I didn't contact or speak to prior, not a single one of them contacted me. So the results of this experiment have shown me that all those I considered my friends can kiss my sweet arse goodbye. I don't need to consider people as my friends when they obviously don't think about me the same way. At the time of year when you contact those that matter, not a single one of them contacted me.
Which leads me onto the next thing….
My new year's resolutions for 2005 are:
1) Be more honest
2) Relax and meditate more
That's all.
Now let's talk about number 1. Being more honest. This is honesty in relation to my feelings and attitudes. I'm not going to do things any more if I simply don't feel like doing it. I'll still be respectful towards others, but I'm not going to do what other people want if it's not something I want to do. It's about being honest not only with others, but with myself.
It's an evolution of my growth over the past year/s. Where I've discussed and written about being more honest, now I'm taking it further in my own life and actually BEING more honest. With everything I do. It's going to be challenging along the way, but I think it's going to be great.
Tonight has not been a memorable New Year's Eve, but I think it's the ONLY NYE that I've written about at the time. I didn't do anything of interest tonight. I tried downloading The Incredibles to watch while I pigged out on some good food and drink, but The Incredibles weren't that incredible with the download. The 2-hour download was started at 5pm, and it's 93% finished now at 12:48am. Bloody incconsiderate people with their slow connection speeds! *sigh* I would have played a new online game I've been playing, but the movie download was causing the game to run slowly, so I've been sitting here chatting with a couple people, web browsing, washing dishes, and generally thinking about how much more interesting it could have been.
I was supposed to spend it with a friend, and we had planned to watch the sun go down, watch a movie, and get sloshed (that's drunk, if you didn't know). Unfortunately, it didn't happen. 
So I'm going to write about the memorable New Year's Eves (NYE) that I've had in the past.
The first memorable NYE I had was back when I was a kid. It's the first NYE I can even remember! I think I was around 14 or 15 years old. My dad gave me a glass of champagne at a NYE party at my uncle's place. I drank it fast and then felt strange. I think I was actually a little bit drunk on this one glass of champagne, because I was dizzy and wanted to be alone, so I hid down the end of the back yard until it was time to go home.
I can't remember any memorably NYE's until 1999 – Millennium Eve. The eve of 2000, a brand new century. Although the new century didn't actually start until 2001, but that didn't stop the media from playing it up and all the people went along with the hype. Which of course, included the Y2K bug. 1999 was the year when Prince's song "1999" made a comeback. It's when the western world had a strange fascination, half dread and half excitement, about the computers stuffing up on midnight 2000 and the world coming to a standstill. It was "the end of the world as we know it….."
Anyway, I was seeing Darlene at the time, and we were at her friend's place, celebrating it in a small town on the coast where her and the friend lived. We were going to go to the beach and watch the fireworks, but at 11:30pm it started pouring down with rain, so no one went anywhere. I remember my drinks that night, and this is important… I had 2 beers, 1 Jim Beam & Coke, and 1 glass of champagne. Not much. But oh my God…. Let me give you a warning – DON'T MIX YOUR DRINKS!
I woke up the next morning not only in the 'new century', but with the biggest and worst hangover of my entire life. Darlene was worse. She couldn't get out of bed, she was so bad. The bucket by the side of the bed got a lot of use. The worst part was that we were trying to recover but failing for most of New Year's Day, but by 1pm we left her friend's place and drove back to Darlene's house.
I have sensitive eyes, sensitive enough that if I'm out in bright sunlight without sunglasses I get 'pain' in my eyes and they start streaming with tears. This has been ongoing since my teenage years, and it was embarrassing walking down the street crying. I bought my first pair of sunglasses at age 16, and haven't looked back since.
I had forgotten my sunglasses the previous night. So there I was, driving a vomiting girlfriend and her 2 screaming kids half an hour without sunglasses, my eyes crying as I squinted into the bright light of a hot Australian summer, the kids arguing in the back, and the worst fucking hangover of the century. I had to stop twice along the way to let Darlene jump out of the car and vomit on the side of the road. When we got home she collapsed in the bedroom, pleading with me to take care of the kids. No problem, 'cause I had my sunglasses now… 
However, little did I know that her kids would almost be the death of me. For christmas they had gotten a small inflatable swimming pool. It hadn't been inflated yet. They wanted me to inflate it for them and put water in it so they could go for a 'swim' in this pool that was about 6 inches deep. This is where the horror really began….
At first I was going to say no, but then I remembered all the times that my own parents didn't let me do what I wanted, and I didn't want these kids to feel the same way. So I got out the pool and began to inflate it. By blowing into it.
The sunglasses didn't stop the tears streaming from my eyes as I cried at the pain in my head while blowing up this pool. Every exhaled breath shot daggers into my hungover brain. Eventually I finished, gritting my teeth and repeating the mantra, "They are not going to resent me for not giving them this, they are not going to resent me for not…"
They loved me. I went back inside and died a thousand more deaths, listening to Darlene vomiting in the bedroom while I watched tv and saw the Millennium Fireworks competition all around the world. All the major cities competed for the best fireworks display in the world, to celebrate the new Millennium. I was happy that Australia won, with the most amazing fireworks in the world. 'Eternity'. The crying was from happiness, really it was.
It was a memorable New Year, one I'll never forget.
The following NYE was in London, with friends of Michelle. I was bored shitless, as I was the only man in the house as her and her 3 friends celebrated NYE to see in 2001. Their idea of celebrating was to watch tv and talk about girl-things. I went to bed around 10pm, feigning jetlag and tiredness. I was woken up at 11:55, dragged out of bed and had a glass of champagne shoved in my hand. I smiled dutifully as everyone counted down to midnight and then drank the champagne. The tv went off, the music went on, and they did their girl-talk again. I went back to bed.
It was memorable because it was in London.
The following NYE was with my new friend and flatmate Vicki. It was a simple affair. We got some chinese takeaway and sat eating it in the car on the coast looking towards the sun going down. We ate and relaxed and talked, drinking our softdrink, and talking about the past and the future. When it was dark, we went home, and did some more drinking and eating and talking. We clinked our champagne glasses at midnight, and talked some more until around 1am, when we went for a walk. It was nice.
My friend Vicki was very influential and important to me (and still is important as a valued friend), because she was my 'counsellor'. I had so many 'issues' over my time and experiences with Michelle that she allowed me to get off my chest, through talking about them. I also used her to get a lot of other things off my chest about my past, etc. Thank you Vicki.
Those are my memorable NYE's. Every other NYE was 'ordinary', nothing to remember. I never got laid on a NYE. Ever.
*thinks*
I think I'll have that as a goal for the next NYE…
All the best for 2005, to all of you. May you get everything that you need this year.
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