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It’s about being connected

When I was a child I never had any friends, and my parents resented my presence. I didn’t really know what human connections were until I was in my 20’s, and I’ve been learning more and more about them ever since.

What we value in life is a result of what we lacked as a child.

I lacked connections with people, and so today I value connections with people. Being connected with others is very important to me. And when I see people being disconnected from other people, or even encouraging some form of disconnection from other people, it makes me sad. And if they’re trying to force disconnections between people, then it makes me angry.


I also lacked the freedom to make choices. I know this is normal for most children, but my dysfunctional mother would actually punish me for having the nerve to want a choice. And so I grew up valuing freedom to make choices too.

With our values shaped by our childhood experiences, it’s very easy for us to get frustrated by people, or by our experiences, or even just by hearing about something that somehow reminds us of our childhood and what we lacked. We don’t want to go back there, and it becomes an emotional trigger for us.

When I see social policies try to encourage men and women to be more and more disconnected, it frustrates me. When I see acts of violence on the street or in the news, it disgusts me. When I hear calls for war or support for current wars, it saddens me.

I’m upset and offended by anything that tries to create divisions between people, because I just want people to come together more. When I talk or write about why I’m annoyed or angry about something, it’s not because of the stupidity inherent in it – although that’s probably a big part of it – but it’s also because of the division it’s creating between people or the restrictions on freedom that it’s trying to encourage.

I want people to be more connected. I want people to be more respectful of each other. I want people to be more helpful towards each other. I want people to have more freedom in their lives. I want peace and love and rainbows. Unicorns would be nice too.

I know, I know… I’m fantasising. I know that in the real world all we have is division and restriction, and we all know that’s not going to be changing any time soon.

So I better learn how to change myself instead.

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