I was researching modern masculinity after what I wrote yesterday (I’ve been doing it all wrong), and I discovered something fascinating. It seems that I’m not alone. (Not that I thought I was!) I discovered I’m a Zeta male, and there’s more out there like me.
I used to think that there were only the alpha and beta males – that if you weren’t alpha, then you must be beta – but my research has discovered there’s actually much more to it than that.
Let’s go through the different kinds of men out there, so that we can understand exactly what I’m talking about.
The Alpha male
This is the ‘leader of the pack’, the ‘macho man’, the ‘real man’. While being a very small fraction of the population, you can usually spot them a mile away. They are arrogant, aloof, loud and obsessed about sex. They learnt early on that power and high social status lets them get the best women, so that’s what drives them to achieve.
Women love the alpha male. They love his independence, his strength, his mystique and his status. They want to be part of it. But he’ll only take the hottest women, because he can.
The Beta male
This is most men out there.
He’s the ‘yes man’, who dedicates his life to pleasing others, especially women. He thinks that in order to get what he wants, he has to get others to like him. His own needs come last. He prefers taking orders than giving them. He’s the ‘white knight’, the rescuer, the man who is ‘safe’ for women to run to and cry on his shoulder about the latest alpha ‘jerk’ that dumped them. He hopes that by being there for her that she will eventually choose him because of how wonderful and supportive he is, but he doesn’t understand why she always runs back to the alpha male when she’s finished crying. He’s always agreeable, always supportive, always hopeful that his kindness will be rewarded one day with her choosing to have sex with him.
Attractive and sexy women are always placing beta males into ‘the friend zone’. His desire to be liked makes him boring. ‘Sexy’ is not a word that comes to mind when a woman thinks about a beta male.
Beta males will only get to have sex with the women who know they can’t get the alpha males. They will eventually get married and have children and settle down. The life of an alpha is not for them.
The Omega male
This is the man who is generally the ‘loser’ of society. They’re the divorced and bitter and twisted, living alone and miserable, cursing their ex-wife and their life. They’re the obese 40 year old computer gamers who are living in their parents’ basement. They’re the low income earner or long term unemployed, doing what they can to scrape by. They’re the drunk or the stoned. Whatever circumstances their life is in, they’re just not in the race any more for the attention of women.
Omega males are usually ashamed of themselves, drunk, detached and angry, but they do nothing to change anything.
Zeta male
This man is new to our world. They’ve often been alpha, beta and omega through various stages of their life, and they’ve come out the other side, understanding all of them but deciding they are none of them.
They don’t conform to the ‘traditional’ image of the alpha male, but neither are they passive weaklings like betas or omegas. They can give orders and take orders. They can be assertive when they need to be, unafraid to speak out and fight for what they believe is right and just. They’re also not afraid to express their emotions. They have nothing to prove to anyone, especially their manhood, and they live by their own standards without caring what others think.
The zeta male is described as ‘rising from the rubble of the shattered remnants of traditional masculinity. Zeta masculinity is self taught and defiant towards traditional social structures.’
Both alphas and betas play their parts according to social expectations, being providers, chivalrous, etc. Betas love being chivalrous, seeing themselves as the ‘white knights’ saving damsels in distress. Alphas love being providers, the hunter, providing for their woman.
Zetas don’t care about social expectations, and actively reject them. They have no interest in playing the social games that others play, and they instead want to change social expectations and traditional roles and create new ones.
They have no interest in changing themselves for women. The zeta believes that if you don’t want to be with him for who he is, then he has no interest in being with you either. It’s about respect, and if you don’t respect who he is, and instead want to change him, then why should he be with you when you want him to be something different?
Zeta males also recognise that men themselves are guilty of trapping each other in the traditional roles. They need company and support for their choices and positions in life. Alphas will encourage men to be alpha and do what they can to have lots of sex. Betas will encourage men to settle down and get a good wife and family. Omegas… well, they want drinking buddies or gaming buddies.
Zeta males will reach out and help men to get out of the roles they’re in, to encourage them to choose roles for themselves based on what’s important to them, instead of what is important to others. Zeta males will not contribute to a system that they don’t agree with.
This has been what I’ve been talking about for years. I just never knew there was a new term to describe it.
The new movement
There’s a movement that’s growing, with different names but all wanting the same thing. Men’s Rights Activists, Men Going Their Own Way, Masculinists, and now Zeta males.
We recognise what many others don’t, or don’t want to acknowledge, that there’s a problem that’s growing in society. It’s a problem that is taking away men’s rights and treating them as an enemy. There’s a movement empowering women at the expense of men, but there’s nothing empowering men to embrace a modern masculinity.
Feminism is about equality for both men and women. Radical feminism is about destroying the male system completely, so that the females have all the authority and control.
It’s the effects of radical feminism that I’ll have to fight against, to help bring the status quo back to the middle, where equality for all is what we have, rather than what we wish we had.
The best way to do that is to help men break out of the system they’re stuck in. To help beta males become zeta. Alpha males won’t be interested. They’re too arrogant and sex obsessed to care. As long as they’re getting what they want, they don’t care about anyone else.
It’s the betas that I have to reach, and since they make up about 90% of the male population, I at least have a large audience.
My life as alpha, beta, omega and zeta
Everything in your past has succeeded in bringing you here today
I can recognise the various stages of my life when I have been alpha, beta and omega, and in light of this blog’s theme of everything in my past bringing me to this moment, I wanted to talk about it.
I started out as Omega, being unemployed for many years and struggling to understand my place in this world. I had trouble dating and just didn’t ‘get it’.
Then I started to ‘get it’, and became a bit more successful with dating and relationships, but this led me into a Beta life, where I tried to be a ‘nice guy’ to all the women I met and interacted with. I thought this would help me develop better relationships, and get closer to women that I wanted to be with. I thought that by being the nice guy that they’d like me more.
But I still didn’t really ‘get it’. It was easier for me to date and even develop relationships, but I wasn’t being authentic. I wasn’t living my life.
It was around this time that I started exploring other options with my life. I started learning about players and pickup artists. I started learning what it means to be ‘alpha’. I started practicing. I started not caring and taking on an arrogant, aloof attitude towards women. As a result, I ‘became’ alpha.
I went through a few years where I dated and even had relationships with some very hot women, and I came to understand a few alpha basics of male-female interactions that threw out all my beta misunderstandings.
In the process of ‘becoming alpha’, I gained a confidence in myself. I started to discover more of who I was and what I really wanted in life.
I discovered I didn’t want to be alpha. I didn’t want to be a player. I didn’t want multiple women all at the same time. It just wasn’t working for me. It still wasn’t my authentic self at play.
So instead of continuing to embrace it, I gave it up. I just got on with my life instead. I spent some time writing on my old blogs about how to improve life and dating and relationships, while continuing to explore my own.
I also provided mentoring to other men on how to improve their dating and their relationships. I even mentored a mentor of mine. He helped me as a life coach, and I helped him as a dating/relationship coach.
It was amazing to me that this man I looked up to, who has been of service to me for 20 years of my life, was coming to me for relationship advice.
It was because I ‘got it’.
I was living authentically, doing what was important to me, and understanding alpha, beta and omega, and using elements from each in my own life. I was all of them while being none of them.
I was applying these understandings to my career and to my personal life, and getting successes with it, in ways that I never did before. I’m a combination of alpha and beta at work, working in a way that is comfortable for me, without being someone’s ‘lackey’ or ‘yes man’. I learnt how to say no, without it being a problem for anyone.
I understand what is important to me, and I understand what I need and want in life, and in my relationships. I understand that I cannot compromise on my values, and I need to find someone to fit in with them, rather than change them for other people.
I’ve found that in Fanfan. She is someone who meets all my needs and desires, and I love her dearly. She doesn’t try to change me, and she accepts me for who I am.
Like every relationship, there are challenges and moments of difficulty, but I draw upon my past experiences and understandings to deal with them in a way that works for both of us.
I want to help other men ‘get it’ too. It’s a burning desire, a passion in me. I’ve been writing about it for years. I’ll continue writing too. It’s through writing that I can reach these beta men out there, and help them realise they can have something better than what they’ve ‘settled’ for.
“I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more!”
Most men, being beta, and being ‘yes men’, have ended up inadvertently empowering the system take away more and more of their rights to simply be men. By being afraid to say no, by needing to please women all the time, men have given in to their unreasonable demands and stupidity, and as a result we have social and legal systems that border on insanity, discouraging masculinity and encouraging boys to be girls. Legal systems are introduced by beta male lawmakers who have wives that make life difficult for them if they don’t support stupid policies that make life more difficult for men.
The system is broken. It needs fixing. If you’re not trying to help fix it, then you’re part of the problem.
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